During a relationship, you create special memories that involve a certain date, place, or even a specific outfit. But once that relationship ends, it’s hard to see these reminders that take you back to those special moments. This is why it’s important to reclaim these things and create new memories.
Anniversaries, birthdays, milestones: all hard to get through without that person by your side anymore. But hard as it is to hear, that person isn’t around anymore so these dates are now insignificant and thinking about what could’ve been on those days is torture. Don’t do it to yourself!
Also don’t mark milestones like how long it’s been since you broke up. At the end of the day, it’s another day. Days come and go, including the bad ones, so don’t let yourself dwell on the dates when something went wrong or you separated; it’s not good for anyone.
Whether it’s the place where you first met, a restaurant that has the memory of a special dinner attached to it, or even where you work, it is important to go past the anxiety of going there and reclaim it for yourself. It is hard to detach a place and a memory, so take your time to do this, but eventually, you will have to, especially if it’s your workplace!
But for places, you can choose to avoid, take friends, go and enjoy the place again! There’s a reason you decided to go there before, whether you were introducing it to your significant other or deciding to try something new. The key thing is to make new memories there and override the soured memories that exist currently.
There will be clothes you bought to wear for that person, that you wore for special occasions, or that they gifted to you. You should always wear what you feel comfortable in and if certain outfits take you back to a memory that is hard to deal with at the time, that’s okay. It takes time to get back to yourself. But once you are feeling strong and are ready to reclaim an outfit, wear it with pride and with your head held high!
Style it up in a new way so you don’t feel like you are wearing it in the exact same way or if you are feeling ready, wear it how you wore it and reclaim the whole thing. The important thing is to feel good.
If you had a sexual relationship with your ex, then it is so important to reclaim your physical and sexual self. It is very difficult to do this after having been so intimate and trusting someone with your naked body. Sex isn’t just physical either, it can be an emotional experience, so detaching yourself from that person when moving on is hard, even with masturbation and self-pleasure.
Take time to focus on yourself and what you like. Rediscover your sexual being and what you like during sex, not what they Iiked or what you liked as a couple. It can be hard to disassociate sexual feeling from a previous sexual partner, but your body is yours to enjoy, don’t let anyone take that away from you.
The key thing to remember when you start reclaiming things after a breakup is doing it for yourself. This means doing it when you are ready and taking it at whatever pace is right for you. Talk to friends and family about your plans, get them involved too if you want. That support network is invaluable.
But, once you’ve decided to reclaim something, do it! Don’t dwell. Even if you were feeling confident at the time you decided, and less so when it comes to the actual doing of it, just do it! Because you can. You are stronger than you know and reclaiming what is yours is giving the power back to you. We all need to know our strength and power.
Image credit: Sasha Freemind via Unsplash.