He asks for my favourite film
And I pause
Take a breath
While I contemplate if he deserves to know the answer
My favourite things are so personal
More so than any letter I could ever write
Or any diary entry slipped into the wrong hands
This is the most open I can possibly be with anyone
Does he deserve that?
To know me inside out?
To know the quotes which linger in my mind
Two hours after the ending credits
To know the characters I love so much
Because I see them as a mirror of myself
To know the things I wish would happen to me
Not just in a movie on the screen
Our favourite things embody us
It is brave to be so vulnerable
And to brush it off so simply
Only we know the secrets between ourselves and our favourite things
The memories we share
The moments they were there for
The exact point we fell in love
They saw it all
And what he is asking is so much more than my favourite film
He is asking to know me, to really know me
My breath is getting faster
And I realise this is ridiculous
It is just a film after all; he doesn’t want to know my darkest secrets
But still they are there
Hidden amongst quotes and characters
Spotted among plot points and taglines
I exist there
He wants to see me
But I want to stay in the shadows
I want to hide
Image courtesy of Brett Jordan.