the ugly side of mental health

CW: depression.

In response to those who romanticise mental health. Who support it only when it’s palatable, and clean.

  • Teeth that tingle.
  • Rancid tongue.
  • Dry, cracked lips.
  • Scars.
  • Scars from spots and from scratches.
  • Limp hair.
  • Not showering for weeks.
  • Sitting in the bath until the water is cold and murky and stale.
  • Picking.
  • Picking at flaws.
  • Picking at eyebrows and eyelashes.
  • Pulling out hair as penance.
  • Teeth biting through lips.
  • Licking the blood away.
  • Bedsheets, unchanged.
  • Pyjamas, unchanged.
  • Skipping classes to lie in bed with the curtains drawn.
  • Comfort shows for twelve hours straight.
  • Ugly crying.
  • Blood on pillows.
  • All bark, no bite.
  • Bite through the same cut.
  • Taste metal.
  • Punching pillows.
  • Screaming into pillows.
  • Screaming.
  • Without noise.
  • Don’t sleep – pass out.
  • Sleep for twelve hours straight.
  • Find it hard to wake up, again.
  • Ugly.
  • uglyuglyuglyugly.
  • Running mascara.
  • Not like war-paint, like funerals.
  • Pick. Pull. Scratch.
  • Wake up.
  • Do it all again.

Image courtesy of Sam Moqadam.

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