Why Drugs Just Aren’t For Me: Charlie and Mandy Who?

All posts are from anonymous contributors to our platform. While The Hysteria Collective does not endorse drug-use, we believe that judgement-free education and resources can only have a positive impact on the safety and welfare of others. We’re not all massive druggos, we swear.

When The Hysteria Collective first started asking for stories about drug experiences for their Drug and Alcohol Awareness Week, my initial thought was that this wasn’t for me. Not my arena, not my skillset. No, ma’am. Why? Because I’m a drug virgin. Yep, take a look at the list below which summarises my personal drug experiences.

  • The closest I’ve come to being high is taking a sleeping pill which made me think my bed was a boat – which incidentally did not rock me to sleep, but rather into a sheer state of nauseous panic. 
  • When I was travelling, I had a weird concoction of painkillers and herbal travel sickness medication which left me feeling a little bit like I was having an outer body experience… that also could have been the hangover – who knows?
  • I did once get a nicotine rush when I was dabbling with smoking (which turned out not to be for me) but that also could have been the alcohol so I’m not going to place blame. 
  • When I was 13, I once came back from town in a paranoid mess and admitted to my sister that I had smoked something. Despite her worst fears, I confirmed that it was a shisha pen my friend Nick* had bought off Amazon. Which realistically meant that it literally had nothing other than strawberry flavoured air in it. 

That was enough of dabbling with the dark side (I say this light-heartedly) for me and so, as someone who hasn’t been to this particular fairground, I wasn’t sure I could bring much to the discussion. You see, I’ve never really seen the point of it. I always thought that if I wanted to feel that slightly out of control feeling, you know, that buzz, that I could just have a couple of pints or a glass of vino [read: I’m a light weight so a drink or two should do the trick]. Also I’ve never smoked, so there was never a natural progression to weed that others may have, and I’ve never really considered taking anything else. I think in the beginning I was always nervous that I would be that annoying person who got really paranoid when they smoked a bit of weed and for the rest of the night all my friends would have to look after me, and so, anything beyond that never crossed my mind. Anyway, I wouldn’t even know the first thing about how you come to be in the possession of them – is there like a Deliveroo service but for narcotics??? 

However, when I got to thinking about it, I realised that I actually had quite a few opinions on the topic. First things first, I’ll say that I would never judge anyone who chooses to take drugs, in the same way that I hope people don’t judge me for choosing not to. Originally, like I said, it wasn’t an active choice, but it has become something I consciously don’t do. I am quite an adventurous person and I like to try new things, but I’ve just always said no. I don’t judge those who do want to do it, though. It is your life, and you should live it like you want; as the saying goes, you do you.

Of course, being at university, there has been a certain amount of peer pressure. Most of my drug-related experiences have just been friends casually taking them at house parties or when we’ve been out clubbing. It’s not like there’s anyone forcing it down your throat (or up your nose as the case may be), it is just different people getting their own buzz. In fact, one of the funniest experiences I have at university was when I woke up at 5am ready for a competition and I walked into my kitchen in first year. My flat mates were playing that shot game where the glass spins around and whoever it lands on has to take the shot… except there wasn’t alcohol in the glass but rather ketamine… as you can imagine, I didn’t really know what to do in that situation, so I just smiled and made my coffee. 

However, inevitably I have had some negative experiences and been in situations where sometimes it takes more of a forceful ‘no’ for people to understand I don’t want it. Maybe there is little bit of fear of what might happen, but for the most part, I just don’t want to take it and other people don’t always understand, or respect, that. Occasionally, I have felt uncomfortable because most people around me have been taking drugs and you never really want to be in a social situation where everyone else is high… it’s not really an ideal environment, but it is easy enough to walk away or find some other people. 

So, I suppose a part of me will always be the girl who thought puffing on a glorified strawberry was going to land me in juvie, but now I know just that little bit more about this particular arena (granted, not a lot – but it’s still something). As far as I’m concerned, crack on with the drugs if that’s your thing, I’m not going to judge or tell anyone, but I am going to sit here wondering about that Deliveroo service and if it really exists (and if doesn’t, I’m copyrighting that idea… I reckon it’s a goldmine). 

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