Letters from Lockdown 86: Cassidy Harvard-Davies

Dear Work-Life Balance,

I miss you. I know, I know, I said I’d call. I’m sorry. I said we’d spend more time together over lockdown, but in my defence, that’s when I thought I was being furloughed. And I know I was going to cut my hours, but Christmas is coming up and I need the money, for the future, for you and me.

Netflix and chill isn’t the same without you. Now I get stressed watching Parks and Rec and I think of you. We spent so many great times together, do you remember? Meeting friends for coffee. Long walks and binging Love Is Blind. It’s hard, you know?

No, no, I’m not seeing anyone. I have a casual relationship with napping, but you knew that going in. That’s all I have time for, anymore.

Problem is, if I’m not at work, mask-clad and counting products on the shelves, then I’m in front of a blank page desperately trying to find some creativity. I know we used to have fun but I’m not that person anymore.

Yes, yes, I know I never listened to you and planned ahead. I’m sorry, okay? Between work and uni and sleep, I just don’t have time for you at the moment. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m focussing on my career, and my education. I’m just not ready to commit to giving up naps.

I know that, before, I’ve crawled into bed with you and read a chapter of that book I still haven’t finished, but that was a mistake, okay? It made me groggy before work but you kept whispering in my ear, just one page more. You work so hard. You deserve this.

So this is why I’m giving you up. Not forever, not for long, but for now. I wish I knew how to be with you but I can’t.

Maybe in the future our paths will cross again, and you’ll hold me, and together we’ll finally catch up on Stranger Things.

All my love,

A Full-Time Uni Student and Full-Time Worker (and full-time mess) xx

Categories: Article, Letters from Lockdown, Series

cassidy harvard-davies

I am currently a creative writing phd student at lancaster university and subeditor for the hysteria collective having a go at this all ‘online presence’ kind of deal. I enjoy tea, harry potter, dogs, feminism, greek mythology, reading, and poetry, in that order.

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