Letters From Lockdown 74: Sarah Holmes

content warning: alcohol

Dear sobriety,

Some people fear you, some never have to worry about you, some spend a novelty month with you for a charity challenge. Personally, I was always in awe of you and could never have dreamt how close we have become. 

For what started as an unexpected dabble with you for fear of the shame I would feel whilst lying on an examination table with my expected fatty liver to be revealed, has become the most important, life changing relationship of my life.

Becoming friends with you has opened the doors to a calmer, happier, healthier me. The feeling of freedom from the demon drink you have provided has been so liberating. Your companionship has truly been the most life changing for me and has opened one positive door after another.

Some seem to think I could leave your side for ‘just the one’ or that you are a transient presence in my life. I know better. Without you, I fear I would slip back to my past selfish, miserable ways.

Sobriety could be considered to be the “natural state of a human being given at birth”. My only regret is that it took me 48 years to rediscover you.

Enough of regrets though. We have each other, even stronger through lockdown. You are the one constant and the one thing in this crazy thing we call 2020 that I can actually control.

Here’s to our 1 year, 4 months, 23 days, 12 hour long party – cheers!

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