I am not available for…

Not that I made a list, broke it down into sections and put it above my bed to read it before sleep, but I’m starting to know what are the things I am not available for anymore.

I hope this is going to inspire some of you to define your own boundaries. To know what and who you show up for – and for the things and people you choose, be there and take care of things. Watch them grow, water them; it will bloom in wonderful ways you had not expected. Yet to cultivate what’s precious, you need to get rid of what doesn’t align with you.

Then, I am not available for half-ass efforts. I am not available for gossiping on people’s back or talking shit about them out of boredom. I am not available for fake friends. I am not available for fuckboys. I am not available to compare myself to other women. I am not available for non-feminist men or non-feminist people in general. I am not available for people who do not stand for equality and refuse to learn. I am not available for people who romanticise and fetishise me. For those who make up a wrong idea of me in their head, because as Billie Eilish wrote it in her short film – is my value based only on your perception? or is your opinion of me not my responsibility. I am not available for mind games. I am not available for people who project their insecurities on others. I am not available for films and books or any art content that keep cultivating white supremacy and sexism. I am not available for places where hierarchy and networking are more important than safety and calling people out – the downside of the glamourous film industry, so stand up for yourself and choose who you work with as much as you can. I try not to be available for unhealthy beauty standards. I am not available for those who show off with their so-called culture and judge people who do not know what they know. I am not available for jealousy and arbitrary judgment.

On a lighter and funnier tone, I am not available for gin and tonic – I tried, I swear. I am not available for sleeping in until noon. I am not available for a 2 hours lecture – my attention span is outrageously short in class -, and I’m not available for slow walkers.

Getting rid of these interferences makes everything so much more broad and bright, right?

Photo courtesy of Evan Wise

Maëlle Leggiadro

Categories: MonologuesTags: ,

Maelle Leggiadro

Hi, I'm Mel. Or Nora. I have a thing for adventure, creative writing, cinema, aesthetics and reckless ideas. Everything I touch becomes red. I say that I am not a romantic, yet one of my favourite films is Romeo + Juliet and I am fascinated by the novel Wuthering Heights. I have a vibrant personality, always craving for more, paying attention to little details and unable to settle. (I am also a secret Gossip Girl fan.)

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