will I always be the girl you have to learn to love?
the girl who stands right next to the girl you notice,
and at first you look right through her.
the girl who makes you laugh but when she leaves the room,
you forget about her.
the girl who will make you feel so comfortable and so yourself
that you would never get butterflies thinking about her.
the girl who will inevitably be your best friend and
that’s all it would ever be.
will I always be the girl you fall out of love with?
the girl who teaches you to love yourself
but to never want her.
the girl who reminds you what fun is
and you know you want that someday.
the girl who breaks her back to make you happy
and who you leave waiting at home.
the girl who dreams of the perfect life with you
that you’ll never want.
i am not.
i am the girl i learnt to love.
i am the girl i never fall out of love with.
because the love of myself is more.
it is strong and beautiful and relentless.
and we all deserve a love like that.
i will not cry for you again
nor will i cry
for the love that was lost.
because it is not your love i lost,
it was mine.
i have found her again,
and this time
i am drowning in it.
Photo courtesy of Gaelle Marcel