This is to you
A dedicated poem
For all that happened
One final message
One last goodbye
That day my world went dark
I fumbled for a light that didn’t exist
Wishing for help that never came
Struggling, choking, drowning
Unable to breathe
I was lost
In the middle of a cruel sea
Of happy memories not yet soured
And innocent words
Choking me as I fought for my life
I didn’t drown quickly
I struggled for breath
Reaching for a hand to save me
But the waves took me
And under I went
I stayed there a while
Enjoying the silence, the peace
Happy that everything had stopped
No more pain
No more hurt
Then I came up for air
And swam and swam
With all my remaining strength
Back to shore
Back to safety
And I breathe easier now
Though my lungs are damaged
They keep me living, breathing
I am here
You couldn’t drown me
I still fear the water
But it lessens every day
I am healing
I will go back in the water
You won’t win this
I know now
The sea isn’t dangerous
With the right company
With the right flotation aids
Be alert, always
I see the beauty again
Of the waves crashing
On the golden sand
Still undamaged
Unaffected by the water
My golden shores
No longer shine in the midday sun
They aren’t glamorous or beautiful
But still they exist
Tiny grains of happiness
I will one day be admired again
For my beauty
By those unaware of the pain
Or the continued hurt
As I try to understand, why
But I always draw a blank
Confused by the calm waves
And the clear skies
No sign of trouble
Bliss
The memories haunt me
On my worst days
When I ache from the hurt
And the trust you destroyed
Hanging in, just
In my head you remain
An unwanted resident
Who refuses to leave
One I avoid, and still despise
Goodbye
Photo courtesy of Ashley Light