sometimes I socially smoke, and I socially inhale the fumes of you.
i take you all in.
you burn my organs as you slip through my body, scarring my lungs which makes it harder to breathe.
but this juxtaposes with the slowing of my neurological functions, as i breathe out every last bit of my anxiety; you make me at ease.
it feels like another night that we will spend together, wrapped up in my duvet in my fairy lit university dorm, laughing out our intoxicated thoughts, knowing that you are still the only person i’ll let touch me.
knowing, that i’ll wake up again, with a white wine induced headache.
I will have to watch you leave again.
you’re the most beautiful person i have ever met, and i’m not even the most beautiful person in the room.
i’ll see you again, in the smoking area of a dingy club. the music tries to scream over you, but you’re all i can focus on. as you offer me another cigarette.
Photo of courtesy Jens Johnsson