Letters from Lockdown 51: Karriad Shawcross

Dear Toni,

It has been an age. Years since I’ve seen you and yet my heart still feels so full when we talk and so sad when we can’t. Countless missed FaceTime dates or delayed replies. A long distance friendship is hard.

It’s hard because when you first meet, you don’t consider what it will be like to miss that person. You don’t think about the after, you just think about the now. And that’s what we did. The girl from Berlin and the girl from Newquay who accidentally found each other and we loved every moment. The beach parties, the gossip in EP, the tears of laughter in the study room. It was all so wonderful.

The day came where you had to go home. That day sucked. I know there’s something about Cornwall that isn’t just my home, but yours too. A person can’t leave that sort of impact without truly belonging there. I wish we were both still there.

I wish I had visited you. I was so afraid of flying and everything that I was never brave enough to come to you. Your bravery kept us going and keeps us going. Thank you for that. But hey, at least next year we will be in France, together again, neither of us really knowing French but if we know how to ask for a glass of wine, we will be fine right?

And we will be together again. Because although a long distance friendship is hard, if it is with the right friend then it is worth it. And suddenly time doesn’t matter. Just like when we talk, when we see each other nothing has changed. You have changed and I have changed, but we – us together – has not changed.

It was you who told me about finding soulmates in your friends and I can honestly say that you were the first person that I found that in. A big piece of my heart belongs with you. You’ve always listened to me cry or moan or rant without any resentment or annoyance, you’ve truly just been an angel. I know you think I say silly things and that I am soppy but I mean all of it.

What makes you so wonderful, though, is your strength. I said about you being brave but it isn’t just that. You are so bloody strong. Your emotional intelligence is blinding and you haven’t always had the easiest time, but you’ve smiled on. So many people are grateful for you and you don’t even know it.

Our friendship is a love story you would read about with Mr Keane in English Literature, provided he wasn’t singing or being roasted by Noah, Vinnie and Dom. The next chapter for us is a lot of FaceTiming, and then France, and then who knows. Maybe I will make it to Germany. Scrap that, I will make it to Germany.

I will see you soon, meine Liebling.

Karriad x

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