Aunty Raff’s Single Sundays: Week Three – Dating Apps

Hello all! We’re back for another week of single wisdom from your friendly single friend. This week we will be looking into the world of dating apps. Whether you’ve been single your whole life, a year, a month or even a day, most people have thought about going on to dating apps and it’s easy to see why. The world of swiping left or right on a photo is just so easy to do. As much as we dream about meeting our future partner in a rom-com way, in this day and age it’s very hard for that to happen. So dating apps are the place to be, even if you’re not going on it to meet your future life partner, it is good for an ego boost.

Now I’m here to tell you about which ones I like and don’t, because I have been on a vast majority of them at least once (I’ve been single for a while). Now, obviously I can only tell you what they are like for a cis straight woman, but a lot of the mainstream apps cater for the LGBTQ+ community. But I will also link to some articles I found for apps just for the LGBTQ+. So let’s get on with the list

Tinder – Tinder, the OG swiping dating app. Everyone knows about Tinder. My opinion of it? Meh. Like, it’s alright, but it’s no longer got the same appeal as it use to (I mean did it ever?). A lot of apps have the swiping interface, and, to be honest, most of the guys on it now are just fuckbois. Like, you will find fuckbois on all dating apps, but most can be found there. I would rather be single than really go on that app again. Also, they’ve been really shit during lockdown in terms of dating at home, when a lot of its counterparts have stepped up. Tinder, good for an ego boost and a good fuck if you want it, but not a long time thing, in my opinion.

Bumble – Now Bumble is one of my personal favs. Same swiping interface as Tinder, but with a difference. On Bumble, its USP (Unique Selling Point), is that the girl has to message first (I don’t know how that works for same-sex matches, if anyone does, please let me know). The girl has 24 hours to message their match or the match disappears for forever and the match then has 24 hours to reply back to continue the match. It gives the power completely to the girl. Recently, they have also been really good at stopping catfishes. It’s very easy to verify your account to prove that the photos on your profile are you. And if the account isn’t verified, you can ask your match to verify themselves. You can also filter people by preferences such as, height, religion, political views and even stars signs. They’ve also been really good during lockdown. They’ve introduced video calls within the app and you can add to your profile a little badge saying that you’re up to virtual dating. Would defiantly recommend Bumble.

Hinge – Hinge’s tagline is ‘Created to be deleted’, which is a good tagline. Their USP is that it’s not about swiping and it’s more than just photos but actually getting to know someone. When building a profile, you have to pick three questions to answer instead of writing a bio, so people can get to know you better. Instead of swiping you send a like to the person, you can either like one of their photos or the answers to one of the questions and comment on that. Then the person you’ve liked will get a notification that they got a like and they can decide whether to like back and match. This, for me, is something I’m not the biggest fan of, only because it bruises my ego. On the swiping apps, if you don’t match you can convince yourself it’s because the other person hasn’t come across your profile yet and that’s why you haven’t match, not because they didn’t find you attractive from the four photos you uploaded, and then you forget about them. With Hinge, you know that the other person has seen that you like them and they have decided that they don’t like you back, so bruised ego. Also, unlike Bumble, you can’t really put filters on things apart from distance, unless you pay. But Hinge have also been good about dating at home. And I also met the last guy I dated on Hinge, so it’s not all bad.

So, those are the most famous dating apps out there, however there are more. There’s Happn, which is a local dating app. Like, Hinge, doesn’t use swiping. Basically, it’s just people in your local area. So if you pass someone that also has the app, you can match with them. As you can tell, I’m not that big of fan of it. I think I was on it for about 10 minutes before I left. Very confusing interface and, as it’s not that popular not much choice. There’s also Badoo, now I’m not gonna lie, I was on this for less than a day too. A lot of influencers were advertising it, so I thought I would give it a try. Would not recommend though. Like, it was a lot. I was so overwhelmed by it I’ve completely wiped the experienced from my memory. One app I can’t comment on is Plenty of Fish but it gets mentioned on the show Catfish a lot, so would not recommend.

So, that is a brief overview of the dating apps out there. There are also the more serious ones like E-Harmony and Match but they are for people who really really want to find their future husband or wife and you have to pay for them to really get the full experience. Hopefully I won’t get the chance to comment on them because I will obviously meet my dream man while I’m sitting in a coffee shop (remember them) and reading an intellectual book and our eyes will meet and we will fall in love straight away. But I will update.

As promised, here are two articles I found about dating apps for the LGBTQ+ community

Gay Dating Apps

Lesbian Dating Apps

Now, before I wrap this week’s article and go back to my knitting (I wish this was a joke, but quarantine be like that), I have a reader’s question to answer. Remember, if you do have any questions about dating or being single please email and I will answer as best I can.

Anyway, on to this week’s question:

“In terms of dating, how long do you think you need to wait before asking a guy on a date (if they haven’t got on and asked you?!)? Should you ask or do you wait for them?? Sometimes I worry that if they haven’t asked it means they don’t want don’t want one, so I worry about getting shot down if I do ask.. But then it’s also nice to be asked.. But then I also want a date and don’t want to miss the opportunity.. Ah the dilemma! But yeah, how do you approach setting up a date with a guy you’re chatting to?”

Well, this a relatively easy question to answer first, so thank you for the question. So, first of all, it all depends how you met the guy in question. If you met on a dating app, anytime is a good time, you’re there to date. But if you know the guy from the real world, slightly different, but still easy to answer. Just ask them! I know you don’t know if they feel the same and you want to be asked, but…most boys are stupid. Even though you think it’s obvious that you’re flirting with them, these boys can be oblivious and probably don’t know how you feel about them so they’re not gonna ask, even if they do like you back, because they don’t want their ego bruised. I remember that I was flirting with this guy a lot and I really wanted to be friends with benefits with him, but until I asked him, he was not aware of it. So, yeah just ask him, don’t wait around for a guy because you’re just gonna end up waiting forever. Best case scenario he says yes, and that’s great, you’ve got a date. Worst, he says no. But that’s also fine, because then you know and you can stop wasting your energy on someone that doesn’t like you the way you like him and that’s his loss. You don’t ask, you don’t get so go ask.

I hope that helps and please let me know how it goes.

Now that truly is all folks. Thanks for tuning in for another week of someone who’s just trying her best in this single life. See you all next week! Remember, single life is a choice, just not always your choice, but it’s how you deal with it that makes it worthwhile.

Take Care,

Aunty Raff x

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