a room that’s not mine

an entire nation cast adrift
floating
suspended in a cold ocean of promises not kept
there’s no tinkle of ice cream vans
rattling along the shore line
swinging through the estate
instead a stubborn stifling silence

there’s millions of us
and lifeboats are sparse
so suddenly the value of life is tangible
measurable by strangers

i lie in a room that’s not mine
scattered with the possessions i deemed most important
watching the sun on the bed
listening to the hush of outdoors

there’s mould on the ceiling
which is comfortingly familiar
the blu tac stains smile from the magnolia wall
the paint peels like an old friend

no one smiles in the supermarket
we sing in monotone whispers as we wash our hands
our loves are trapped in screens
the air full of wistful sighs

i miss the way things were
beautifully boring and perpetually taken for granted
anticipating
tying up loose ends
getting that scroll
those drinks with friends
queuing for clubs
driving just to drive

most of all
i miss you all

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