As I sat here and thought about all the people I could write to, honestly, I had no clue. I know so many people in my life who all mean ridiculous amounts to me, and then I thought of you. Because the difference is, those people, I can still appreciate. For you, I can no longer tell you, because you’re not here anymore.
You weren’t my grandfather by blood, but you were by our bond. I really miss you.
I remember meeting you, and from that moment, you’d always called me Lady Jane. At first, I never understood, it was strange but then I got used to it. Now I understand, it’s because you’d thought I was posh.
I remember we would go to Sainsbury’s and we’d get a meal, you and Phil would get an English Breakfast, Jack always went for a lasagne, Mum would get an omelette with chips and salad, and I would get a lasagne (eventually a veggie one when I became a vegetarian) with chips and garlic bread. Then we would go and get your shopping and you’d buy me and Jack chocolate. I remember you’d sometimes buy flowers in memory of your beautiful wife, Joyce, and sometimes we’d get another puzzle for you to do. And if it was the right time of the year, we’d get back just in time for Strictly Come Dancing.
Then we took you to Salute to the 40s, at Chatham Dockyard (before I worked there), and I remember that man thanking you for your service in the war. It was emotional, and now I reflect on that time, I wish I’d done the same. You’d served in the marines in Eastern Asia, and with the countless funny stories, there were equally traumatic ones.
I want to say, I wish I could hug you one last time, draw a picture for you one last time, tell you about university, tell you what grades I got in my A-Levels, tell you how I’m doing, tell you how I love to sing at karaoke, tell you that Mum and Phil made it to Cornwall, show you the view out of my bedroom window because it’s so beautiful, tell you my mental health has been so much better than it has been in about seven years.
I miss you a lot, now I sit here and think of you. Life has gotten in the way and sometimes I’ve forgotten to appreciate you. But I do, in my heart, I do.
I love you, always.
Categories: Letters From Lockdown