Every time I go on a night out, I fall in love with the strength of my friends all over again.
I see them strut into the pub looking stunning
In tight fitting dresses
In crop tops and mini skirts
Embracing every single curve of their body
Every single freckle
Every single line
Making the entire pub stop
Unable to ignore the power that has suddenly entered the room.
We laugh, drink and have a good time
But then the best moment comes.
A smile appears on their face.
A glint in their eyes.
They ask me to hold their drink for a moment.
Without hesitation, they go over to the person they spotted on the other side of the room.
The light touches
The gentle laughs
The excitement of what could possibly be
They embrace it all.
Sometimes I won’t see them again for the rest of the night
And I think good on them.
Other times they come back and say they got bored
The person was an asshole
The person wasn’t assertive enough for them
And I love that.
To see the power and control they have in their bodies
And their expression of sexuality.
To know exactly what they want
And follow through on it.
I thought there was something wrong with me
Because I wasn’t having casual sex
And I wasn’t confident in the crop tops.
I thought I wasn’t sex positive
Because I wasn’t having sex with anyone
But then I learnt
From my friends in the bars;
Sex positivity does not come from forcing yourself into sex
But within power and control
Finding what you like and dislike
And embracing it.
So, when I walk into the pub in my long-sleeved dresses and jeans
I feel on fire
Because I decide who gets the privilege of seeing my body
And who does not.
When a guy attempts to hit on me
I tell them not to bother
Unless they are prepared to take me out to dinner tomorrow night.
They can have the biggest dick in the world
But if their personality is cardboard I’m not interested.
I can still believe in sex as an expression of intimacy and love
To be close to a partner
While cheering my friends on to get that guy on the other side of the bar
Sex can be the top of a mountain I haven’t climbed yet
The views will be beautiful when I get there
But it’s ok if I’m not there yet
Sex positivity means embracing your sexual expression
No matter what form it takes.