A letter to myself a year ago: Yianna Schultze

Dear past me,

“It’s present me! Your best friend and the one you’ve been able to experience everything with. I know you find yourself in a bit of a mess. You and me are different characters but we’ve read and lived the same storyline. Things haven’t worked out the way you wanted them to and you’re experiencing heartbreak, loss and doubt. Though I promise you we are better now, even though sometimes it may hurt.

I know you never thought this would be where you find yourself today. Sitting in a room of blank walls watching everyday go by as you don’t want to face anyone. You’re struggling with your confidence, the person you loved has had to say goodbye and you feel hopeless. You try to stay busy, even though you’re doing nothing all day, you still can’t find the time to do anything.

Let me just say, I am immensely proud of you. Past me, I never thought I’d be sitting here accomplishing these things. You’ve managed to find yourself happy with the work you’ve accomplished at University. You never used to think we’d soar with these things! You’re also surrounded by people who love you and will support you through many things. I understand it was okay for you to have a little doubt in yourself, but these doubts have managed to push you and help yourself achieve who we are today.

Take a deep breath and just stop. I know things seem much harder than they need to be but I promise you that these things won’t matter at all in the near future. Please don’t get scared when things don’t seem to be going the way you wanted them to; I promise they work out and it will be for the best. I also know you care about what people think. Please don’t. Comments and people’s opinions will no longer matter. You will realise your future self is every bit stronger and wiser than before.

I won’t give much of your storyline away. Now I know you’re impatient, we still are, but I promise you, the chapters are worth the wait.

Lots of Love,
Your better-self.

Image courtesy of Annie Spratt.

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