Cw: sexual assault

My October 3^rd didn’t involve Aaron Samuels telling me that it was October 3^rd.

My October 3^rd was during my fresher’s week of uni, when I was just 18.

My October 3^rd was when I invited a new friend over for a cup of tea before a society welcome meeting.

My October 3^rd was the day I excitedly walked down to the meeting with my friend.

My October 3^rd was when I met a lot of people, who I could now could not live without.

My October 3^rd was the day my friend said they had left their jacket at mine and asked to come and collect it.

My October 3^rd was when my friend and I decided to watch a movie before they went back to their halls.

My October 3^rd was when I felt uncomfortable because of my friend’s body language.

My October 3^rd was when I text my flatmate to tell her that I felt un-easy.

My October 3^rd was when my bedroom door was shut and locked behind me.

My October 3^rd was when I was scared to say no.

My October 3^rd was when I called my mum in tears and he still wouldn’t leave.

My October 3^rd now has emotions and memories attached to it, that I wish didn’t exist.

But

This October 3^rd I’m going to practice self-care and allow myself to feel my emotions.

This October 3^rd I’m going to go on a walk with a friend.

This October 3^rd I’m going to watch mean girls, meaning that

This October 3^rd will be the day that I watch Aaron Samuels tell Cady that it’s October 3^rd.

Photo courtesy of Wesley Tingey

Categories: Poetry