Eulogy

the colour blue, it signifies a lot

a lifetime unwinding like a spinning top

but with memories that are thinning

let us start from the beginning 

stationery set used to write you that love letter

duvet cover the first night we spent together 

nail polish glinting as you said you loved me

ruined t-shirt, sobbing into your chest hysterically 

wallpapered room when we told our parents we were wedded

the ring, the cake, the bridesmaid’s dresses

baby grows we bought after revealing it was a boy

his very first Thomas the Tank Engine Toy 

battered BMW you gave me on my birthday 

a change from the usual wilting bouquet 

trips to the beach when we saw the cloudless sky 

running into the sea, feeling like I could fly

bright promises you made me the day that you got sick

eyes watering, smudging my mascara and lipstick

following the signs to St James’ Hospital

material of the doctor’s robe as I sat there, noncommittal 

my trembling hand as I took the call 

staring, staring, staring at the waiting room wall 

the panic on my lips as they asked me where it hurts 

same stationery set used to write you these words 

he always wanted a colourful death

but here we all are, with nothing left

he wanted forever, and so did I

today we are here to say goodbye

Photo courtesy of Dennis Rochel

Categories: Poetry

estherhwhiteley

Final year undergraduate student studying English Literature at the University of Exeter.

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